So I recently attended a company away day where the morning was essentially hosted by the MD’s wife, also an MD of her own company and an advocate for NLP.

I’m a cynical person, I know that but I turned up anyway knowing what I was letting myself in for, thinking that all I have to is get through the morning to get to the fun-filled afternoon. But early in the morning session, the Mrs MD announced that she would be on the look out for “Mood Hoovers” and “Black Abbots” - people who suck the mood and fun out of situations. She would single them out and take them for a walk.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I find it very difficult to be happy on cue and I consider it insulting to think that I’m not allowed to be myself with my colleagues, friends etc. Yes, I could quite easily be considered a “mood hover” but I’m also a hard worker and had I known that a prerequisite for the away day was continuous levity I may have stayed away.

The thing I object to is people being forced to be something they don’t want to be or don’t need to be. The Mrs MD is a prime example of this ludicrous “self”-help mania-stricken world we live in, enforcing it on everyone else because they think we need it.

I don’t want to be told to “be happy or else”, that’s not how it works.